I have always believed that every good thing in life is recognized by knowing the bad things. It doesn’t matter how dark may be the night; when you see stars you recognize that is the light. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Like a rainbow of life which is always colorful but sometimes it takes effort to understand the colors. Perhaps.
Wired up in my headset with audio-books playing, last night was no different from the many nights I live and sleep. But it turned out to be different somehow as I fell asleep and I dreamed this dream. I dreamed this dream during the time gone by; I saw hopes were high and life was more than worth living; I dreamed about an undying love. Of all the dreams that I’ve seen, the ones that are now used and wasted; this dream made me feel young and unafraid. I dreamed that the world was at war and the cities and towns were scattered. People were dying and people were killing and mothers running here and there to provide the safety to their child and young men fighting for their pride. I saw you and I saw me, we both were unaware of such troubles and preparing to meet each other. In the mirror I could see you looking at your face asking million questions to yourself about how do you look and world was growing to be a hell outside. I still remember the feel of that dream exactly the moment when you slept beside me, it was a summer night and you filled it with endless wonder and you were gone by the time Autumn came. I remember the each moment that I spent with you from the summer to autumn.
I woke up in the afternoon and I heard your voice. I was scared and astonished I tried to close my eyes and go back into that dream again for the person was completely different from the dream than the one I called. I couldn’t go back to the sleep but as I closed the shutters of my eyes I was engulfed with million thoughts and feelings. I felt that I found someone who can completely turn my world around and that, I can tell her the things that I don’t feel like telling others. I can share with her my hopes and fears, the dreams that will never come true, goals that never can be achieved and disappointments that life has given. I felt that when something good happens I wouldn’t wait to share with her and she would never be embarrassed to cry with me during my bad times. I felt that my whole world is a quite bank of a serene river when she is around. That, she would always appreciate me and like me for who I am and not for who I should be or who she wants me to be.
During these confused thoughts there was time when I decided to share all the secret of my life with you because I though you’re my safest place on this earth. And then all the colors would seem brighter and all the smiles will turn in to laughter. I became so certain that a phone call or two a day will break all the tiredness of the working day and bring inevitable smile on my face and on yours. Your presence wouldn’t require continuous conversations but in quite moments I would speak loads of things with you. I imagined that things that never fascinated me before would now interest me because they are to your interest and I would never let go of a chance which separates me from you. Suddenly, this hope took place in me that one day you’ll open your heart knowing that there is a possibility that you might get it broken someday but instead you experience such a love and joy that you never dreamed of. That, you’ve found a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will always be loyal to you till the end of the time. But…but I woke up from the deep slumber and realized that I’ve gone too far but still I’ll dream that some of it will come true, not all but some.
So I just saw my life completely different from what it is right now and in the moment I felt that this cruel life killed my dream, brutally. But again, my dear, there are seas in this world that can not be sailed; there are mountains in this world that can not be climbed; But people out there are still trying their best to become legends. I perhaps can be a legend if I kept trying for my dream. It is very peculiar that I don’t love you when you’re around and it is only sometimes that I like you but I seek your presence in your absence. Always…