Archive for August, 2012

United Confusions…

 

 

You have this desire of ornamenting my room…

My room consists of  nothing but books.

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Company of Women…

When a man enters into a room, he brings his whole life with him. Be it a hotel room, bedroom, bathroom, office chamber. He has million reasons to be at some other place but walking into that room is like a check point of his life span.  He always carries the happy parts along with him; to share.

If we just ask that man how he ended up in that room, he would tell plenty of reasons. Just ask him. He will tell you how he got there, when he wasn’t actually planned to be there but how surprised and happy he has found himself after reaching there. He would tell you how lost he was and how he forgot where he was actually going, and then how he woke up and strove forward. He’ll tell you about the times he thought and dreamt about being   perfect but he wasn’t. And then at times he would smile wisely and tell you that world is not perfect place and he would tell you how contented he is to know this fact. And of the fact that the You’re born alone and you would die alone and this world has just imposed some rules on top of you just to make you forget those facts. He would tell you that he wouldn’t forget those facts and he lives like there is no tomorrow, because there isn’t one. Known of the fact that he ain’t perfect and not going to be and accepting that one day he would be perished alone. Too much for a room. A man’s whole life.

Moves to the other checkpoint where he feels the emptiness and seclusion.That’s where he thinks about woman. No matter how strong a Man might be or pretend to be, the absence of woman is a twinge in his heart way more powerful than the memory itself. History witness that greatest warriors, fighters, kings gave away their blood, pride, legacies, kingdoms for the sake of woman. Deep inside in his heart, he would always feel the need for the opposite sex to fill an inevitable empty space.  Men without the affection from their beloved would end up weeping in front of whores. Still he ends up with a woman. He pain is woman, and the cure is woman. He would realize that he found someone, someday. He makes his choices, but he would know what woman wants. Every woman wants choices, better choices, but in the end no one wants to be one of a hundred in a box. She is unique and she makes unique choices and she chooses him.  He would tell you that she would want to tell the whole world that HE is mine and that she would mark her man with her lips and with the tenderness of her existence HE would become her possession.

When a man enters into a room, he brings his whole life with him. Too much for a room. Perhaps…

While It Lasts…

Its the oldest story of the world. One day you’re 17 and planning for someday; And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today, and that someday is yesterday. This is your life.

We spend most part of our lives, thinking, planning, wanting and pursuing, without knowing what’s going to come next. It is very sometimes that we think over our mistakes, think about re-do them to master verdict. And it is quite a few times that we think about our regrets and try to fix them, redeem ourselves from the guilt we’ve been carrying along. Funny thing happens when we are unable to recognize our regrets. It is because regret comes in many shapes and sizes; similar to when we do bad things for good purpose. Some are bigger regrets, like, when we let down a closer friend and escape the pains of the regrets and we think we’ve made a right choice. Some of us hardly think about regrets because they are too busy in moving up in life. Sometimes, we need to fight with our mistakes to come in terms with the past. And sometimes, we bury the ghosts of our past by promising to change our ways. But regrets are not necessarily in the things that we did, biggest regrets are in the things that we didn’t do. Like the simplest things that we didn’t say to our loved ones; the promises that we didn’t do to make someone happy; the calling someone’s name when it was too late; roads that had to be traveled by; people those had to be seen; people to be missed; people to be forgotten; people to be forgiven; desires to be followed in different climates; things that we didn’t do; places that we didn’t go; moments that we didn’t live. We often end up thinking that all is going to go away by the time how would you deal with it as lost is it is there?

Technically, I would stand with those people who let go of such feeling and strive forward to cope with other possibilities, but personally, I wouldn’t want to leave bad taste in anyone’s mouth before I more forward. Actually, nothing as such happens. It is very difficult yet so important to keep balance in your life and we can’t do it perfectly. Never. But at least, in the process of trying to making things better and trying to fix things from the past, we have this self-realization and self actualization. We know what kind of people we are, or were and have become.

How many times we see a dream and it seems so real that when we wake up we aren’t sure what to believe. We would desperately want to fall asleep and continue that dream. But that’s no way to find the reality. Sometimes, I believe, whole life is stranded in a dream and only way to find out the reality of that dream is to wake up and face the what lies inside your soul. In those dark reflections of your soul, you would never find yourself alone. The society is there. Have you ever tried to look into your picture carefully and wondered who is the stranger in the background? Despite you, how many people would have seen your picture(s)?  So it means, you’ve been in many peoples lives without knowing it. May be you’ve been part of someone else’s dream and they are in the same state of retreating towards the dream as you. Neither you chose to be there nor you happened to be there. Imagine, you could be the big part of someone else’s life, without even knowing it. It might bring pain or happiness.

Happiness, too, comes in many forms. Sometimes in the company of good friends, a good job, new car, a post card anything. And also the feeling when you play a big role to help someone else’s dream come true. And you find yourself happy. Its perfect to be happy by having nothing because you never know what this feelings feels like. Because sometimes pain becomes a very huge part of our lives and we are too deprived to recognize our little happiness. But pain doesn’t last forever and someday you’ll realize that this feeling of pain is so unfamiliar, and in that moment you’ll find yourself happy again. Use your head and follow your heart, the world is full of magic, you never know when the next miracle is gonna come from.

These Ties That Bind…

So finally the long and struggling road has come to an end and I took a deep breath and looked in the sky to fill my eyes with God’s grace and feel triumphant. But Oh my God!, there is still a new long road to travel, guess what? this is life.

Troubles that KL had given me in the past couple of years, were easy to forget this time while having a 2 month long vacation back home in Pakistan. Soon as I arrived back here, new challenges were ready and I decided to fight a dual with them. Dead on. New people and places have always fascinated me and I’m glad to witness yet another event in my life such as this. The Employee Induction for the first week of my new job. It was fascinating and exciting and funny. Hell lot of new things I did in my life for the first time in this week. I tried my best to act as a sick bastard who pretends to have done and known everything, but someone might have noticed, i’m not sure.

I always knew the people from all over world would be the same in a lot of terms and here I’ve seen it. Our batch has people from Nigeria, Malaysia, Zimbabwe, Chad, Botswana, Iran, Iraq, Indonesia, Philippians and Pakistan. Now this is funny. Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? I met a few and felt as if we are the only ones who can talk, know and understand each other. It’s okay that we share a same language but?? I still am looking the reason for this excitement. No wonder I’ve been back stabbed by a few while having the same feeling but still… What happened in Karachi back then when we passed a man in the street? Did we invite them to join us? Did we just talked them? Pretended to be good to them? Never. so why?

Besides that, I’ve met a few good people during the induction process. Up until Friday, i was thinking this is going to be the first weekend of my working life in this country and I so badly want it to happen as soon as possible. But soon as it came, I started missing office and people. I believe this is the plus point. Sooner I get myself institutionalized with the place the faster I would grow. This is going to be a great period of my life. I would try not to make the mistakes that I’ve made in the mast to blow things up. But I’m sure somewhere in tomorrow, I’m going to make some new mistakes,  and God bless me please!