Goodbyes are generally sad and end up in tears in most cases. But my last day in college ended in unexpected joys and events that a poet can think of while making his best poems. Being a centre of attraction has always been my hobby, good or bad. I compiled the pictures of my college life in KL and   make up a video and showed all my class mates on projector. I got positive responses and a few sad farewell words. But what can suck the most that towards the end of college the girl you have always liked decides to like you back. Place you were ready to leave suddenly starts stopping you and you have no options to choose from. But sometimes in life it is very hard to make a decision and start walking a way without thinking about making decision.

That quite well known face to me, that Beautiful, charming, classy, splendid, pleasant and lovely face of her bright like sunlight always attracts me like moon like attracts the waves of sea. Her jubilant, stunning, gorgeous deep black eyes are beyond words to describe. I know when they look at me, they halt me, for a moment I feel they take the soul out of my body. For a single moment I forget about my existence, my problems, my being and try to look into those deep ravishing eyes. The eyes when bow brings all the religions of the words at one place. Eyes when rise takes the millions breaths away. Her milky skin combine to a sculpture. Feels like a sculpture that belonged to ancient  gods of a mysterious world. How would they take care of her, how would they love her. I believe even worship won’t do justice to her guts.

With similarly such a soul, I spent a evening out of few, to remember lifetime. She reserved herself as much as she could. Because she was cautions that I may not fall for her. Unknown of the fact she was that I had fell before she realized. She gave me nearly everything I wanted; for she knew I wouldn’t ask her something she may not give or get upset. I don’t know weather or not I made my moves without giving much thought, but having her around everything feels right. Sometimes looking at her eyes I felt they crying for freedom. Yelling and shouting and pleading that don’t trap me in the cage of relationships, in the device of society, in the hook of religion and set me free. That, she wanted to blow like a wind; comforting thousands souls at once. But the words she spoke, nobody understands. She tries hard but doesn’t think of any other way to make people understand.

Touching her palms of the hands was so soothing, like a bone-fire in the middle of snowy mountains. Her hair like dark grey clouds, like comforting quilts, like a life saving shed in the burning sunlight. When i touch her hair, that evening, and try to rearrange, i felt so excitement. Like a kid, when he sees his favourite toy. I wanted to touch her lips with my fingers but I managed to find excuse to get close to them. I applied lipstick with my own hands on her appealing lips. I knew I couldn’t do it perfectly because my heart was beating so fast i could feel it in my throat and my fingers were shivering and managed to get hold on myself. So close, yet so far. I offered her my open arms she smiled and walked away. But what I saw in her eyes that moment, She wanted to hug me. It just happened to her for a single moment and that thought went away. I smiled back.

I wish clouds could start raining few minutes earlier. So I could have a wonderful excuse to spend more time with that magical soul. I can never forget that moment when she gave me warmth of her handshake and her traditional smile, and started walking. That moments is still there in my memory, in my misty wild rain, she walking away from me and she turned four times to wave goodbye. And that’s when I realized that girl I hate to see you go. For the next 90 mints I was waiting at the same spot where she left me, waiting for rain to end. But I was lost in that moment, It was like she never left that place…

Awais Rehman…

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