The Future Tense

I woke up with a bold voice trying to call my name, wake me up. I looked at him, at the door way, in my blur vision.  He was the landlord of the house we had just rented. Soon as I recognized him, I asked him to come in and sit. He said he was in rush and that he has to leave. “Please empty the 3rd room as soon as you can as I have another customer to check in from today” he added. I told him that will be take care of by the evening when everybody comes back home from work. Then he was busy with the clients showing them around. I was extremely disappointed. It wasn’t disappointment, it was some other feeling i believe. It was someone-entering-your-house-without-you knowing feeling.

But I kind of saw this coming. Difference is it came too early than I had anticipated. I don’t like this place. This place demotivates me, degrades me, devalues me. I have tried my best but I can’t be the person I am in this shit hole. The landlord asked me to empty a room and he promised the client the room that we were using already. This is going to be very bad. Ever since I have moved into this house bad luck is at it’s top. Nothing is working in my way. My health, my education, my work, my finances and my friends. I have no clue what I should do. I have no money left. I have to reorganize, redirect my life from the beginning. I believe this is one of  the major issues why living in abroad sucks.

I have no clue how the next day life is going to be. I have to go to college, attend two classes, talk to the management for the approval of using the a/v facilities for my final presentation. I have only RM5 in my pocket and I have to eat a dinner and a breakfast before thinking about purchasing a train ticket to College. I have never felt this vulnerable in my whole life. A job that you master in but you can’t have because you don’t belong here, A place you have paid for but you can’t control the public coming in and going out, the stomach that keeps asking and a heart that keeps desiring. For a human being it is too hard to make everything perfect, make everybody happy.

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