Archive for February, 2011

One More Traffic Light…

There are moments in life when we question our actions and soon after the moments are gone we indulge ourselves with arguments about this should’ve been done that way and so on. The truth is, in such moments our impulse overcomes our heart and mind. We can’t help it. If all the perfect things could be done in one moment then, I believe, people would lose the faith in things like mistakes, second chances, promises, hopes and fears.

On one fine evening me and my friend went to Kota Damansara which is a part of the huge Kuala Lampur city where mostly the elite class lives. We went to see my uncle and on the way my friend told me that one of his mysterious friend lives there too. So I persuaded him to see her and scheduled to meet my uncle later in the evening. At the IKEA square in a Swedish café, we met her. I really appreciated her approach there because taking little time to meet a stranger when you have a lot on your plate is not ordinary. She wanted to come and I could see it in her text messages that she sent while on her way to café. “One more traffic light” was one of them.

Wearing a white gym suite, a nice young lady in her late twenties joined us in the far corner of the café. On an occasion she told me that she was looking for inspiration and motivation or may be an omen that could redirect her life. She loves painting and I wonder if she existed in the era of Leonardo Da Vinci, her portraits would’ve given good competition to Mona Lisa. Looking for inspiration she was but I wish someone ever could tell her that with her beauty and wits, with her wisdom and kindness, with her love and words not only she could inspire the world but could change the lives  of deserted and hopeless dramatically. I went on talking and asking questions to her about her life and I guess I was inspired. She told me few facts about Chinese New Year while the coffee went on and soon as coffee was over she took off. We escorted her to the elevators to the basement parking and went to meet the next target.

I would never believe that she was forty four year old lady and a mother of twins when my friend briefed me later on. I feel uncomfortable while quoting her lady, she was like a young university-going student who has world to explore in the future. At the IKEA square, in a Swedish café, we met her.


My Desperate Valentine

At this moment there are nearly 6,899,878,459 people in the world. Some are running scared; scared of being lonely, scared of the future, of truth, tomorrow and despair.   Some are coming home victorious, some defeated and retarded. Some tell lies to make it through the day and others are just not facing the truth. Some are waiting for the vicissitude and some are trying to fix the things. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes all you need is ONE…”

Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always, a beginning of a relationship, a formation of a bridge that connects two parts of one land. A promise, like a reward for persisting through life so long alone but with hope. A belief in each other and the possibility of love and affection. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain in the past. A convention which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. The celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held; promises made long ago in the sacred space in our hearts. All comes at ones at this night we call Valentines Day. The day when there is lot of love in the air.

Love is a feeling, an emotion and it comes so often. There is very thin line between love, illusion, infatuation and lust. We get confused into the complex feelings and lose ourselves in the middle of complex thoughts and end up hurt and hopeless. Every once in a while people step up, they rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard, but if you look close enough you find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back. Love never hurts; they are the expectations that hurt. Love is not an agreement; it doesn’t always flow both ways.

Disappointments come in life but that is not the end of the world, take the loved ones with you and leave them behind who don’t value you because life is about moving on. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t. And believe that everything happens for a reason…. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy… they just promised it would be worth it.

“Albert Camus once wrote, “Blessed are the hearts that can bend, they shall never be broken”. But I wonder, if there’s no breaking, then there’s no healing. And if there’s no healing then there’s no learning. And if there is no learning, then there’s no struggle. But struggle is part of life.  So must all hearts be broken?

Ch… Ch… Ch… Changes!!!

John Steinbeck once wrote, ‘Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like a stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.’ I don’t really know what made Mr. Steinbeck to think that change comes like a little wind; to me change is just another way to avoid the acceptance in life. Either you accept it the way it comes or you change it. Changes in terms of life are spontaneous; they change because they are destined to. In terms of people, some believe that changing of a person isn’t possible and people stay who they are. I believe things change and so do people. People don’t change or they think that can’t change because it is easier not to.

Coming to KL was always going to be different and difficult for a person like me who belongs to a society less advanced and developed. I prepared myself pretty much for the Cultural Shock but after landing here I realized that it was not that hard at all. Common sense was enough to understand the brand new society. Language barrier was the major concern and something told me that it is always going to be there. In a complex society like KL, where mixture of Tamil, Malay and Chinese languages, cultures, trends and traditions existed, it was a little challenging to decide what to understand first and how?

I always believed that life is like a movie in which unexpected things happen, we meet people and focus on the good people and fight with the bad people and in the end the villain dies and hero comes out with fire burning in the background and kisses the girl with end credits playing in the split screen. Or life is, I believed, like a song that symphonizes our soul and sometimes takes us back into the past or makes us imagine the places, people and things that doesn’t exist. We find ourselves in the condition of hallucination. Or may be life is like a book that reveals and interprets the occasions and incidents of our lives. We see our life in other people’s lives, experiences, mistakes and learning. But this cosmopolitan society changed my ways of taking things and the truth is if life is a movie it doesn’t have any script, if life is a song it doesn’t have melodies, if life is a book it doesn’t have baseline data. I guess it is easier to get inspired by the things but it is pretty hard to be the one or do things that can make others inspire. Now I believe that believe nobody. Just because a wise man said so, or you read it in a book, words of divine order, or because your mother told you it doesn’t make it true. I think one should only believe what he himself tests and judges to be true.

In the new society every other person you meet tries to be your godfather and wants you to do the things the way he wants you to or the way he did in his times. I thought listening to the people is fine, I can be a good listener because I know my ears won’t get me into any trouble but at the end of the day I’m going to follow my heart and I know this. Someday, I know, will soon come and I’d be one of those people would want others to do thing the way I did. Heritage they call. Genetics says heritage comes from genes of the parents but I say the social heritage and psychological heritage and traditional heritage doesn’t need any genes, it just takes a little common sense and a bit of wisdom. It is, definitely, difficult to live away from the friends and family, places I’ve grown up at and most importantly the language in which I can easily express my emotions. On the other hand, I have seen and met people who have fought against the social shocks and I’m currently living among such people who have gone through tough times in the quest of making a little room for them in the society. But if I think that only living among them would make me a wise and successful it would not be any more than standing in a garage and becoming the car. It takes more that efforts to capitalize when things are changing rapidly around you. You sleep in the night with plans and wakeup in the morning and change them.  Changes can’t be skipped but accepting them would make it easier to carry along.


So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and i feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. we’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy – we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that’ll fix everything – but happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition……not a destination. it’s like being tired or hungry. it’s not permanent. it comes and goes, and that’s okay. and i feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often. Happiness is just a mood, not a destination.